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The Unboxed Brain is a monthly ezine bringing you innovation, spirit and creativity.  We feature articles by coaching professionals and others working on the creative frontier.

Playing to Win Big

 by Jeanna Gabellini, MCC, CPCC         

I believe that  you can be, do, and have whatever you desire. No kidding. This article is about playing a BIG game when it's comes to creating wealth.  Prosperity and cash flow are topics that many folks spend time thinking about.  The rules of playing a big game with money outlined below can apply to any area of your life.  I'm writing this to educate you, but more so to have you ponder and then decide to play BIGGER than you are currently.  Even if you're doing great, it's fun to stretch the boundaries and expand.  "How good can you stand it?" is one of my favorite inquiries to my coaching clients.

To play a BIG game with money, the following must happen:

  1. Decide to play BIG and then stick to it.

  2. Play to win versus playing not to lose.

  3. Decide the outcome you desire.

  4. Decide that it will be fun and easy.

  5. Learn the structure of your game and explore all the strategies.

  6. Have deliberate focus.

  7. Make choices that align with both your values and desired outcome.

  8. Take responsibility for every choice and the outcome.

  9. Let the journey unfold versus forcing it into reality.

  10. Trust the wise voice in your heart.

See where you can apply each of the steps in your current game in wealth.

Playing BIG means going for what you really want.

You no longer just shoot for something that would be better than where you are now, but you go for the big dream. It's the difference between a sufficient cash flow that covers your expenses with some left over and a cash flow that supports your "ultimate" lifestyle. Why would you set a goal that is "O.K." when it takes the same amount of focus and effort to go for goals that fulfill your dreams? It's actually easier to go BIG. When you let go of your fears there is no resistance. You let the flow take you down the stream rather than fighting to make progress paddling against the current. Your action steps can be small as long as your outcome is your true desire. Lateral moves just give you more of the same. Make upward moves. Once you make the decision, don't look back unless it's to acknowledge how much progress you've made. If you question your decision, fear will set in. It will be a bit uncomfortable at first but soon it will be quite normal to take large leaps.

Playing to win is when you only see your desired outcome.

You are proactive. The thought of losing doesn't enter your mind. I would never make an investment that I thought might not prosper. If you focus on the possibility of losing you will play in a much more conservative and fearful way. Your thoughts will be full of worry of what "might" happen and your choices would be from an emotionally reactive place.

Be clear about your desired outcome.

How much money do you want to create? By when? What's the way to create it? What percent of your total income will come from your job or business? How will you set up the way you do your daily routine so that it serves both your internal and external needs? What percentage will come from each of your investments? ROI for each investment?

Decide that every part of your wealth plan will be fun and easy. 

If it's not -- STOP!  We often go for the path that is complicated or full of resistance.  Look at which parts are creating struggle or stress for you. Break it down. Sometimes we "collapse" all components of an issue and decide it's not working for us. Once you break it down, you may find that you just need to reorganize the way you do it or educate yourself on one aspect. A client recently decided that the closing of a real estate property was causing stress. She knew the key to ease was to let go of her flaky agent. Now she can hire an agent who fits her value system. This will allow her to focus on the creativity of the project and be excited rather than frustrated. If I find I'm dreading working on part of a project, I'll call my business partner who always has a perspective that solutions are easy.

Other ways to make your plan fun are: Change your atmosphere. I'll take invoicing projects outside. Nature soothes the soul. This week we're teaching a class on my partner's boat in the San Francisco Bay. Make a business meeting a picnic or party. Do investing deals with partners. Everyone has different areas of expertise. You can delegate research and strategizing to those who love it. I recently did an IPO deal with several friends and we connected by conference call from all over the U.S. That's a lot more exciting than doing a deal alone!

Look at the rules of the game you're playing.

The structure and guidelines are different in every arena. Even if you think you already know; think outside the box when strategizing. Ask “what if __________ were possible," then find out from an expert if there's a way to do it legally.

Focus your energy deliberately.

You should know why you're taking each step and why you've timed it this way. I always ask clients when they've chosen an action step, "For the sake of what are you doing this?" There should be no random actions or actions done while you're reacting to something. You are a funnel of focus. If not, your energy is spread out all over the place and it'll get chaotic. I know some of you think you thrive on chaos. But try it this way and see if you like peaceful order.

NEVER settle for anything that doesn't feel good to you

Why would you set a goal, take any action or be in a partnership with any person or company that wasn't in alignment with your values or outcome? Either find a way to get your needs met or choose something different. It's that simple.

If it's to be it's up to me.

If you take responsibility for ALL of the outcomes and results in your life you will be in the driver's seat. It gives you all of the power to create a fulfilling life. Even for those of you who have lost big in a deal or the stock market, you were the one who chose to do the deal or hired the person to expedite it. If you're in partnership you either went along with the plan or didn't speak up. Again, you had a choice. Act as if you're in control when you're making wealth decisions. You actually are. Whatever you focus on is what you'll get. Want to play from fear or exhilaration?

Focus, at all times, upon your desired outcome.

I watch a lot of my clients trying to "push" results into place. They think they have to control everyone and everything around them in order to "win." You can only control your thoughts.  Sometimes glitches will occur and the reality of the current situation feels awful. Remember that there are a million ways to create a million dollars. Be flexible enough to keep correcting your course and look for the opportunities that arise out of chaos. Don't get stuck on "one way" of doing things. Relax. It's a much more efficient way of getting things done. My clients know this is true intellectually but have a hard time trusting it. Delegating works really well, too. What can you delegate to your partners, consultants or spirituality?

One of the things that will take you back to your fears is when you focus on the fact that your goal didn't manifest by a certain date. It's OK. If you get frustrated with this, it will not serve you in any way. Your results are coming. If you feel stuck, ask yourself what the most brilliant investor would do in your situation. If you come up blank, just ponder the question for a day or so. You may need to focus on another area of your plan for awhile. In the process, a new idea or strategy might pop into your head. Act from inspiration rather than “forcing" a result into place.

Distinguish between the Gremlin's voice and your true inner voice.  

If you look back at any disappointing venture in your life, you'll find that there was a small voice you heard inside yourself that alerted you. In fact, it's constantly giving you clues. It'll tell you to slow down or change consultants or ask a certain question. How often do you listen and honor your intuition?  This will take some practice and you have to get to know yourself better. Sometimes we'll do the intellectual work before making a decision. You'll get educated and do research. If everything seems on target, check in with your heart. If it doesn't feel "right," ask yourself what part of the investment or choice isn't fitting.

Once you understand that you can trust yourself to play a big game, you'll go for bigger outcomes with less resistance. Going BIG doesn't mean you won't need help. You'll probably realize you need to ask for assistance more than ever. It's much easier this way. I know you are all capable. Your background and current reality don't matter. As Robert Kiyosaki points out, the assets happen in your mind first. It's the way you think. Your perspective is what creates an opportunity or a roadblock.

If you knew you could have it your way and you couldn't fail, where would you play a bigger game?

 © 2000. Jeanna Gabellini, all rights reserved




Jeanna Gabellini, Master Certified Coach, is known as the Extreme Abundance Coach. Her message: You DO get to have it all and it can be easy!   She is the principal of MasterPeace Coaching & Training, and co-founder of both and  She co-produced the audio tapes "The Art of Practice" and "Unlimited Prosperity".

Contact her at





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